thanks to everyone for caring so much. after three days of sleeping almost nonstop, i woke up this morning a little more positive. perhaps it's because my appointment is monday. anyway, my muscles are so weak from not eating and laying in the bed for so long, so i got up and my one goal is to do dishes today. yay me, i did them took ALOT of effort, but...I DID THEM! If it wasn't for years of cognitive behavioral therapy, I don't think I could've dealt with this relapse. I know it's chemical (hereditary) and stress induced so I see my disease as treatable. I am so glad I stumbled on this site though, I need support. I'm very asocial (don't have alot of friends and I'm comfortable with that, too many people overstimulate me but I'm great one on one). I so do hope this makes sense to people, my thought processing is still quite skewed. Take care everyone and thanks again.