I actually like this thread because I can relate a lot to it. ManicD has such interesting perspectives and gives some wonderful advice!

But back to you. Listen to be blunt, I was single for 6 years, fat, broke, jobless, hopeless, helpless and a scapegoat for mental hospitals. Me and my T sung the same songs you and your T did, the same back and forth, and I kept coming back with the same responses coming from a place of desperation, Just wanted, NEEDED something to change. Like I said I love ManicD's advice. I decided to play the game of life and I think you should too. With no rules. Throw out the rule book. It seems to me you are trying to fit yourself into some kind of category of what you think the perfect happy person is, (the example of the 22 year old grandmaster chess player) who's to say he is not miserable and depressed? He could be very well be.