Honey, I think you ARE beating a dead horse. This relationship is TOXIC. And I'm afraid it always has been. Whenever things have become too much for your bf, he runs to the bottle. He can't handle day-to-day life -- and I know exactly how that is because I'm a recovering alcoholic myself. I was GREAT in a crisis, but that day to day living was too much for me! My parents were both alcoholics too, so that's what I learned at home.

Your life with him would be nothing but constant upheaval -- fights, arguments, and drama. Nothing but chaos. I know that life and it's miserable. I was married to an alcoholic for 26 years, and he was mentally and verbally abusive. There were constant fights and it was nothing but misery. It wasn't living -- it was hell.

Do you want to live in a toxic relationship the rest of your life? He's NOT going to get sober until he loses everything. His job, his family, his relationship, his car, EVERYTHING. He's got to hit "bottom." Then maybe he'll quit drinking. But he's going to need support, and it CAN'T be from you. You are an enabler -- I don't say that to be insulting, because most of us are enablers. It's just that we all tend to make it easier for our loved ones. We trip the land-mines for them, so they don't get hurt. We don't make them take responsibility for their actions. They HAVE to.

You'd be better off to get away from this guy and find someone who DESERVES you!!! Find someone who will LOVE you the way you DESERVE to be loved. Find someone who will cherish you and love you unconditionally, with all your faults -- warts and all. LOL And this guy isn't it. Don't take this kind of "abuse" anymore. Get on with your life and have a GOOD life. That's what you deserve. We're only given ONE life - and it goes all too fast. God bless and please take care of yourself. Hugs, Lee