Simon, Deepblue and heartspace..Thank you all very much for replying to my most depressing post! I have maybe come on the board and posted something that showed apart of my very soul once or twice before..and I forget that people responded nicely then too..I just need to be more patient..

Simon, I appreciate your offer to let me vent to you..but I do not feel my anger is justified..I will deal..again..that was very kind of you to offer..and maybe one day I will take you up on that offer.

Thanks again guys..I really appreciate everyone of you..and everyone else on this board..I may not voice it..but I do..I know it is not anyones problem I feel this way..I know it is mine..so I should not feel like you all have to fix me..and I DON"T..so no worries