I'm sorry you felt Insulted by my post, but I don't understand why your philosophy course didn't teach you more about being humble and depressed as a way of life, and about the fruitlessness of being number one. Embrace your depression and your intelligence. Embrace who you are. For a while I felt I had to be a twin to be special. Obviously that ship had long since sailed! Looking back, I wonder if that idea came from my mother's disappointment in who I turned out to be. Maybe the other one would have turned out more to her liking. I always enjoy your posts even tho I am not into spiders. I am really sorry to hear you are no longer in school. Is there a way for you to get back? And what is this about being the best? Is that from your parents? The "best" changes all the time - that's why the Oscars and the Nobel prizes are awarded annually. Just DO your best. Even as a clerk, you will meet evil. I did as a computer programmer.