I hate to tell you this but not being able to control what your alters do is what DID is. in the DSM IV TR the very first diagnostic criteria is all about having alters that have their own thoughts and ways to do things that are out of the person who has DID's control.

your alters are just doing what ever job, purpose and reason for their being there is all about.

my suggestion... dont worry so much about trying to...make...them do what ....you...want them to do. maybe go at it from a different angle of finding out what their jobs, purposes and reasons for being is all about. that will tell ...you... how to best work with them instead of against them, by working with them instead of against them things will get easier because you and the alters will be communicating and co operating with each other with in the limits/confines of each others abilities..

one way to think about this is you wouldnt go to your job and force your co worker to do things your way and only your way. you would find out what the job entails and then together you and your co worker would come up with the best way to approach the problem based on what you and your co workers abilities are.

working with alters is the same concept. they cant do what is not with in their capabilities and you also cant do things you dont know how to do or cant do. every one has their limitations of what they can and cant do ...even alters.