Slept early, woke up for several hours, then slept again. Felt like I had no energy when I got up. Didn't feel like doing anything. But I ended up getting up, seeing my family, watching a movie. It was nice, but I felt like I couldn't really enjoy it. Decided not to stay with family this weekend, so I came back to dorms. I want to sleep before the depression hits hard; I want to escape it. Now it's just an utter lack of motivation and care.

I mentioned the incomplete business to my dad. It affected him way more than I wanted to. I don't think he understands just what depression means. I asked if he wanted to talk to my counsellor. I asked my counsellor if he could call him. Maybe he can explain it better. I feel like it's all I can do to keep myself awake and alive. Piling the stress of studying on top is just too much for me to bear right now.

Everything seems so dreamlike. What have I done to myself... why did I just give up like this.... Ah, my counsellor got back to me, he's going to call.

I just remembered talking to him yesterday, it was kind of funny. He's a sarcastic guy, like me, and he joked about the security coming to take me kicking and screaming to the hospital. I told him I wouldn't be kicking and screaming. He said I would be. Made me smile a bit. Sad thing is I half-wanted to be carried away, and I said as much.

I always talk too much. In real life, too. I like mentioning every detail, especially to people I trust. I like stories. Everything is a story. So I guess I get caught up in narrating mine.