Hi. I have bipolar disorder. I am in my late forties and have been taking medication for about 15 years, I have been on Wellbutrin, Lamotrigine and Zopiclone for about seven years. I have a great doctor. I was always considered difficult and moody from childhood. I didn't know my diagnosis until about four years ago. I always understood the depression side but never experienced the great highs of mania only extreme anger. I am married with three kids, one is an adult and lives elsewhere and two are school age and live with my husband and I. After being home with my kids for a few years I tried to re-enter the workforce about 4 years ago. I couldn't get full time permanent work. Working has always been very stressful and made me very anxious but most recently it has become clear I can't work with others. I have memory issues and hearing impairment which make things even worse. My doctor pressured me to apply for long term disability which I finally did. I am struggling to accept my LTD status and embrace life as a full-time homemaker which I find monotonous and unfulfilling at best. I am very isolated from friends and family. I have told a few people I have mental health problems and that usually ends the relationship. This is very hard on my kids who are friendly and outgoing. My doctor would like me to connect with others, perhaps through a local mental health agency, volunteering or health club, but I have reservations. Hoping to connect with some people here in the forums, maybe build up my confidence to get out in the community.