Bark, thanks for the reply. You have very cool plans - I'm a little jealous. I ended up writing for a living, but it sure isn't anything I'd planned on. (the biology degree in the '80s didn't get me anywhere ). You said you can't write if it isn't just what you want. That can block you. I've spent days at work just staring at my computer unable to focus enough to start on anything - and part of it is thinking I won't get it right so why bother. Fortunately, no one notices me enough to see how unproductive I've become, and I somehow still manage to meet my deadlines, so I still have the job. Sometimes when I can just get a start on something the words start coming (from somewhere) & I can go back later & fix the goofy stuff I started with.

It sounds like you're strongly interested in your subject - please try to think more about trying to enjoy your curiousity instead of focusing on the frustration caused by the depression. I bet you have a lot you can share and achieve.