Just wanted you to know that I care I will keep you in my thoughts. I hope you find the strength to see your therapist who can help you get better, although I know it is extremely difficult. Be kind to yourself and stay safe. You are worthy, and you deserve to get help and feel better. I hear that you don't believe this right now, but know that all of us posters believe this absolutely, so trust in us for now Please keep us updated and feel free to post anytime you feel the need. Take care. Hugs to you.