Quote:
Originally Posted by radio_flyer
Can someone help me understand why this is happening. I am very easy, "95%" of the time, to get along with.
WHY is this issue with the renter washing his dishes getting out of hand. I don't understand... It is so simple... I wash the breakfast dishes. I wash the dinner dishes... YOU wash the dishes when you cook and when you eat late at night. I don't care what the renter eats or how much he eats or when he eats...I do care that he leaves his dirty dishes in the sink.
So simple, when I cook, I will clean everything... What is so hard to understand........
I'm dealing with a 33 year old man here... Ever since he moved in, I've said the same thing... Please do not leave dirty dishes in the sink. He said ok... I've talked to him in a "kind way" esp in the beginning.. But, now, 4 months later, he still leaves dishes in the sink, and I'm getting edgy, to say the least.........Not feeling oh so nice and kind now.......
Yesterday he cooked fish for his g/f and left a ton of dishes in the sink.. I put the dishes in a dishpan and put the dishpan in his bedroom. He got really mad.. In the long run, he washed his dishes.....
SO last night at 2 am he comes home, nukes some frozen food in the microwave and on his way upstairs "tells" me to turn my tv down. I would have turned the tv down, but when I saw the dishes in the sink, well you can guess, yes, I did not turn the tv down because I was irked he left a mess in the kitchen... He pounded on the floor.. I pounded on the ceiling.
Think he is in a "power struggle" with me.. But what is the deal with a "power struggle" with washing "HIS" own dishes.. That is the only thing I've asked him to do......AND YET he resists... WHY? I'm not into "power fights".............I've been "reacting" instead of well, "not reacting".....
What do I do.........4 months.....a 33 year old man... He won't wash the dishes that he uses... Not asking him to wash mine......
I'm starting to get afraid of what he might do.... Cuz he is yelling back at me ...pounding on the floor. HE is the renter...HE wants to tell "me" what to do... HE only does this when AJ isn't home.....
SO HOW DO I GET THIS IDIOT, sorry for the idiot word, to wash his freaking dishes??????????????????????????????? WITHOUT fighting....
IS he deliberately doing this...... I'd say yes......
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unfortunately you cant control what other people do, think or say. its just part of being human and having the rights to make our own decisions...
this persons decisions just happen to be different then yours are.
one thing I had to learn when ever I had a room mate before my wife and I got together... I had to learn to pick my battles.. in my case was it really important that the dishes didnt get rinsed / washed and dried the way ....I... wanted them to.. what was important was the fact that at that time I could not afford the rental/house payments with out having a room mate. having a roof over my head was more important than trying to force someone to do things ...my...way. So when ever the room mate didnt do their dishes and it was bothering me, i learned to use the time spent on argueing, and talking to a wall so to speak and washed the dishes myself.
I still have things about living with someone that irks me to no end, even with my wife. the way I take care of those issues is remembering whats important to me maybe important to my wife.. example to my wife its important that the last dredges or swallow of something doesnt get put back in the fridge and cupboards but to me I was raised in poverty where even the last dredges and swallow of something can be put to use.. its important to me that things are put back where they belong / my wife is one where things just get set where its convenient at that moment. its important to me to not have dirty dishes in the sink but my wife could care less.
some people cant stand it when someone eats with their mouth smacking other people believe lip smacking is a compliment to a great meal, some people hate it when those they live with snore, snort, fart, belch, leave their dirty socks where ever...
what it all boils down to we all have our faults and kwerks that bother other people.
we cant control what other people do but we can control how we react. we can continue to stress out about something or we can think ok this is bothering me so i might as well wash those dishes myself...it takes the same amount of time or less and less stress to wash a few dishes then it does picking a fight by trying to get my wife to do things my way. sometimes we compromise where she washes and I wipe or i wash and she wipes. but over all I cant force to to believe dirty dishes in the sink is a life threateningly important issue.