You are entirely welcome here. Anyone jump on in whenever you want. And, yes, what you are talking about is quite relevant. You even identified some of your negative thoughts that make you nervous.

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i didnt really earn it because i had x and y advantages and because i did badly in a and b areas

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Which cognitive distortion do you think this is, and how could you respond to it? (let us know if you need a hint)

Here's another one:

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that makes me think when someone sees my cv they ll see all the stuff i havent done instead of what i have

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Maybe you could start small with trying some of the things on your cv - even if you ned to volunteer someplace to get the experience. Once you're using your skills you have more evidence to confront yourself with to prove you can do it. Showing your cv to your friends could be good too. They can give you feedback on your cv, and also general things like your honesty, dependability, etc.