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Originally Posted by My kids are cool
My T and I just started by talking about the fact the rage exists, and he reassured me fairly often that it is actions and not feelings that make people abusers. Feeling angry was justified and did not make me like the abusers in my life. I found these discussions with my T so distressing, that I did not even remember the first few times we talked about it. It does get better and easier, though, as you become a little more comfortable with the fact that anger does not equal abuse.
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MKAC, yes to all of this. I am so terrified to get mad because I don't want to be anything like an abuser. And like you, I tend to check out pretty early in my conversations with T about this because I get scared. I'm so glad I am not alone in that!
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Originally Posted by justmemaybe
Music is the only way i can express myself....like you I dont know what to do with it.
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Oh, you know what? When I was younger I found listening to music a really good outlet. There is some angry music I haven't listened to in years--time to go create a new playlist! Thanks for reminding me of that.
I keep having to learn and re-learn that anger does to equal violence or aggression. I guess one of these days the lesson won't be so scary and will start to stick. My next step, I think, is to actually put words to my anger. SCARY.