I saw my T last night. I am getting better about coming out and saying/admitting things to him over time. I wonder how much he realizes? I really should do more, to show him more, in some way. They are all little steps. Unfortunately, I still don't have all my gear on for climbing Mt. Everest; but I do have a good pair of hiking shoes!

So, it was kind of hard to bring up, but I did it and I am proud of myself! I told him that when I was worrying about money and everything on Tuesday night, that I had the thought about overdosing(as a form of Self-Injury--NOT suicide) on the Vicodin Rx I was given early this week for a very painful virus. If anyone remembers, it happened a few too many times about a year ago. I never went to a hospital. But I think T was on the verge of sending me. I don't remember if he even knew just exactly how much I did--but he does remember it happening.

The thought came to my mind toward the end of Doc's chat. The topics in chat along with all my regular worries was getting to me. T looked very serious, of course, when I said it. I know that no matter how I feel about something or how much something scares me, I trust my T to make appropriate decisions on my behalf. If he would ever recommend for me to go a hospital, I can't guarantee that I would do it on my own. I might agree or disagree, but if I am scared, I might tell him any info he desires--car make/model, license plate, etc--and tell him to call the police to take me. I wouldn't be mad at him or anything because he's looking out for me--whether I agree or am scared of his decision or not. It's like parents and kids. You know, now I am kind of wishing that Fathers Day was coming up soon. I'd like to remind him about what he does for me and how much it's appreciated. Guess I still can. Have to do some thinking...