It's gone worse guys, now I can't stay alone with my child at all. Even if someone is near I feel horrible... Now I doubt everything and it seems I'm capable of anything and I even thought that in my subconscious I want to do bad things...

So I'm not staying alone even in the room, I warned everyone I could be dangerous. I had a panic attack I was scared to death that I'll hurt my child, so I had to stop feeding it and give it to my dad... poor thing cried... God, it cuts me into pieces

Thanks God in a few days (we have holidays now) I'm gonna visit the doctor. I need to know for sure I'm not dangerous. I have those panic attacks all the time and I'm tired, so tired... hope doctor helps me