Oy.

I don't know what else to say. I'm ridiculously conflicted.

I have a job in hand, which I am supposed to start Monday, at a weekly in Minneapolis. But today I drove 3 hours to western Wisconsin to talk to some people at a daily paper.

I knew things were going to go downhill when it turned out that I knew the editor-in-chief's brother. Small world, Wisconsin journalism.

So The Big Boss told me a little about the place, asked a few Journalism 101 questions that I would have been embarrassed if one of my 18-year-old students couldn't have answered, much less me, and passed me off to the city editor and his underling.

It didn't seem to bother City 1 and City 2 that I have virtually no experience in either area I'll be expected to cover. Exactly ONCE I've had to write a story off a criminal complaint, but that seemed to be enough for them. (They want me to do courts and education. Education I can handle.)

I think I did a good job of selling myself, I just don't know if I
want the job.

Eau Claire is 2/3 the size of the town I'm stuck in now, and you all know how much I love it here. (NOT.) I called a friend when I pulled into the parking lot, after having gotten briefly lost, and told her I didn't think I could live there, and I'm not sure I can. It's not even a CUTE small town. It just didn't feel good to me. I hate it here so bad because for the last 17 years I have lived in close proximity to actual cities -- like, populations in the hundreds of thousands. Rochester (where I'm stuck now) is 93,000, and the biggest city in southeastern Minnesota. Eau Claire is 63,000, and the biggest city in western Wisconsin. It's 4 hours from Milwaukee, where my heart and all my friends are.

I didn't have the heart to check out Chippewa Falls, which is 20
minutes or so away, and where I would be based out of. CF has a
whopping 13,000 people and its biggest claims to fame are Cray
supercomputers (Mr. Cray was from there and started the company there)
and Leinenkugel's beer. Even though it is teeny-tiny, it has its own
daily newspaper, so I would be in head-to-head competition with those
reporters. I have never had to compete with anyone before.

We didn't really talk money, so I've no idea what they might offer.

My sister is already making noises about not "allowing" me to take it if they don't give me a certain amount. I am trying hard to figure out
how the hell it is HER decision to run MY life. I am also trying hard
to figure out why she will let me accept $13 an hour in a big city but
not more than that in a small town where the housing is insanely cheap.

They asked me what my career goal was. I said, "to work for a daily."
Which is true. And I have to start somewhere, because I don't have the
internships or experience at big papers that will get me into one
right away. But I'm questioning if that's what I really want after
all. I mean, either I stay where I'm comfortable in a job I know and
somewhere I already know people, or I move to a dinky town where I know no one, and basically start over. I think I am too old to start over. What do you think? I need opinions and help. At the very least I need a pep talk!

Candy