I have been separated and divorced from an abusive -x who has custody of my kids because of my mental illness,(DID). I live in what could be an ideal situation for my kids and works for the most part, a block away - far enough to be out of his site and close enough for my 4 children to get to easily,
My children are 19,(daughter, away at college now); 15; 12; and 10 yrs (all boys).
Though their father is not abusive physically to the kids, verbally they take alot at times. For the most part, he has been a father to them though and they have some good things they share.
For me, of the other hand, he is very controlling, using $ and plans made during time I was expecting with the kids. Our custody agreement is 50-50 legal custody, he has 100% physical custody and I have liberal visitation. I don't want rigidly set up times because if I'm in the hosp. I get no leeway.
My kids have adapted to this set up well. I can see them at school and school events and at the bus stop or when they stop over. We have a very close relationship.
Most of the time life goes farely smoothly until the abusive control streak begins. At that point there is no point in asking for $ that was previously promised for an event and he has even gone as far as leaving me totally stranded by refusing to give me a ride home. Not that I really want to get in the car with him, but it's embarrassing with the kids in the car knowing that he is refusing to give me a ride.
The man is totally rageful and I'm his target when ever I let down and he get's the chance.
I could take him to court over the $ issues and him keeping the kids from me at his discretion, but I feel it's not worth it. The kids and I make do with little $ or food, I send them home to eat if I don't have anything.
I don't know what I'm looking for as advice. He swears that my mental illness is just a conveneint way for me to torment him when he wants to go away. I always cover the kids with good options for where to go if I'm in the hosp. when he's out of town. Theyve come to the point of wondering what his problem is when they are being taken care of and it's not good enough for him.
The kids know about my disorder and are comfortable asking questions etc, and they know I'm getting help but they are saying that he is much sicker than I am. Unfortunately, I have the DX and am in the hosp. to frequently to gain custody.
I guess maybe I just needed to vent alittle. Thanks for listening.