I really appreciate you starting this thread and for the other members input. I have a very difficult time with anger. I can write about it, vent here but irl I hold it in and ultimately turn it on myself.

I do not know how to express all the anger built up inside of me in a constructive way. It doesn't help that my mother used to tell me I was "ugly" when I was so frustrated and angry I would just cry because she / they wouldn't validate or give any support.

All of my pleas, frustrations, hurts fell on deaf ears. Still does.

I am hoping to work on this with my new T so I can finally rid myself of all this toxic sludge that has built up inside of me. I want to be free of this. It is exhausting.

My former T brought up the ideas of getting it out by screaming in the car, hitting pillows in private, roll playing with her, writing letters that I never send, etc but for some teason they dont work for me. I just feel stupid, awkward.

The people that I have so much anger toward dont care and have shown me they dont care over and over. For the longest time, all I wanted was an apology. Which never came. It continues to not come because they are perfect and refuse to apologize.

There has got to be a way, though, to release this... I truly hope.