What you're going through, Speed, in my view, is part of the natural grieving process. Anger is an early step in it, and things will change with time. If you
feel you need it, ask your psychiatrist for a reference to obtain grief counseling.
Understanding it will help the process.

It's one step at a time, just as Black Pup said. Then, it's one day at a time--that's
how you get through it.

Prayers going up for you now.

Take care.