Hi again James. I note you said that two therapists had hinted that you might have AvPD - are you currently seeing a therapist? Would it be helpful to ask him/her for a more formal assessment or dx?

I'm glad you do have some family (I don't mean anything negative by this, but I am at the age where I have no family left and I tell you it's really hard, even though the family weren't the most supportive and understanding of people, at least I was more or less accepted by them...)

Ok as for making friends - well posting here on Psychcentral is a good start - I find internet forums and chat rooms very much good 'practice' for real world interaction (in fact they ARE real world, but much less scary and fraught.) If you can push yourself to post and interact here (or on any kind of forum that interests you for that matter) you'll find that you do start to make some friends.

Friends in real world well there I don't know. When I worked I found that my friends/acquaintances were made via the work place. Do you have a job where you can meet or talk to other people? There are obvious things you could do - like join clubs or interest groups where you meet other people interested in the same things as you, that sort of thing, though I'm sure you already know those sorts of things. When you've got a common focus the pressure is off having to do all the 'let's get to know each other' palaver if you were just meeting someone at a party or something. Having a common interest gives you a cast iron reason for being there and I think anyway, makes it easier to relate to people (or not, if you don't feel up to it.)

I dunno, I guess for us, making friends is work. We just have to put the effort into it, make ourselves pursue people, because they sure as hell aren't going to beat a path to our doors!

Have you done any kind of role playing in therapy or elsewhere? It's quite useful for learning how to do the 'small talk' stuff when you first meet someone you don't know, and it's also useful for practising how to relate to people.

All the best to you

Torn