My Support Forums - View Single Post

CazziWill · 05:34 PM

Quote:

The symptoms of borderline patients are similar to those for which most people seek psychiatric help: depression, mood swings, the use and abuse of drugs, alcohol, or food as a means of trying to feel better; obsessions, phobias, feelings of emptiness and loneliness, inability to tolerate being alone.

In addition, these patients displayed great difficulties in controlling ragefulness; they were unusually impulsive, they fell in and out of love suddenly; they tended to idealize other people and then abruptly despise them. A consequence of all this was that they typically looked for help from a therapist and then suddenly quit in terrible disappointment and anger.

Underneath all these symptoms, therapists began to see in borderline people an inability to tolerate the levels of anxiety, frustration, rejection and loss that most people are able to put up with, an inability to soothe and comfort themselves when they become upset, and an inability to control the impulses toward the expression, through action, of love and hate that most people are able to hold in check. What seems to be of central importance in the symptoms and difficulties mentioned above is that the hallmark of the "borderline" personality is great difficulty in holding on to a stable, consistent sense of one's self: "What am I?" these people ask. "My life is in chaos; sometimes I feel like I can do anything—other times I want to die because I feel so incompetent, helpless and loathsome. I'm a lot of different people instead of being just one person."

The one word that best characterizes borderline personality is "instability." Emotions are unstable, fluctuating wildly, often for no discernible reason. Thought processes are unstable—rational and clear at times, quite extreme and distorted at other times. Behavior is unstable—often with periods of excellent conduct, high efficiency and trustworthiness alternating with outbreaks of regression to childlike states of helplessness and anger, suddenly quitting a job, withdrawing into isolation, failing.

Self control is unstable leading to impulsive behaviors and chaotic relationships. A person with borderline personality disorder may sacrifice themselves for others, only to reach their limit and suddenly fly into rageful reproaches, or they may curry favor through obedient submission only to rebel, out of the blue, in a tantrum.

Associated with this instability is terrible anxiety, guilt and self-loathing for which relief is sought at any cost—medicine, drugs, alcohol, overeating, suicide. Sadly, oddly, self-injury is discovered by many borderline people to provide faster relief than anything else—cutting or burning themselves stops the anxiety temporarily.

The effect upon others of all this trouble is profound: family members never know what to expect from their volatile child, siblings, or spouse, except they know they can expect trouble: suicide threats and attempts, self-inflicted injuries, outbursts of rage and recrimination, impulsive marriages, divorces, pregnancies and abortions; repeated starting and stopping of jobs and school careers, and a pervasive sense, on the part of the family, of being unable to help.

Thanks for such an insightful and 'real' way to learn about the specifics of BPD. I haven't been diagnosed as such, but due to new Govt regulations - basically by monitoring medications for any mental health condition, ie anti-depressants etc such as my case - funding is provided to seek help from psychologists/psychiatrists etc (specialized as opposed to a GP) - I now have officially been diagnosed with ADHD and Depression but hasn't really got to anymore probing as such - but haven't been back to psychologist for the last appointment (you get 10) because she was no help to me in the "how do I deal with this jaw dropping moment of always thinking somethings wrong with me but never known what" side of things whatsoever. just helpful in a legal way - ie medication for the ADHD - but went from really liking this person that I could talk to without judging me, to not liking immediately from the lack of guidance etc I needed from her. ....anyway....sorry needed to just fill you in on a little history to ask my question....this explanation you've given has described me down to an absolute T, a couple of things really finalized the possibility of me having BPD - which I've only looked into (aka your blogs and others) by curiosity, when researching everywhere trying to figure out about dealing etc with my ADHD - okay here's my question - Could I have been misdiagnosed with ADHD (I have hyperactivity & inattention and was apparent as a child as required for diagnosis) INSTEAD of BPD as all my concerns, issues and behaviors all mimic both of these - OR MAYBE BOTH?? Please help me if you or anyone can relate to this or could steer me in right direction or, anything? I'm on Dexy which is really helpful and quite a Godsend for the ADHD and currently on Wellbutrin for depression - as I'm going through the motions of no anti-depressant working on me whatsoever, this is about the 6th one that I thought could be the one, but alas it isn't. Thank you and at the least thanks for listening!!