I fooled myself into believing I was okay for a long time. Mental health issues of any kind were severely looked down upon in my family. I grew up during the time when psychiatrists and therapists still had a bad rap, partially due to their own incompetence in some cases. My dad knew my mom had problems but his basic reply was "lady you're crazy, you need to see a shrink". I discovered the BPD almost a year ago, but due to circumstances was not able to get diagnosed right away. The PTSD does make sense. When it comes to my hardest times of dealing with the problems related to the BPD, I have always thought backwards...I've always linked the way I'm acting now to something that happened in the past. PTSD and BPD natually go together. The biggest problem most BPDs have is not being able to let go of the past and live in the present...but I didn't realize how much PTSD played in to that, until now.

I have a lot to learn, and obviously recovering has not yet begun. Due to finances and such, it will be a while before I can see a therapist on a regular basis, and I have very little support at home. My husband basically believes I'm making a lot out of nothing. But at least I'm finally understanding things a lot better and can start being proactive at home. I can recognize things and link things together that I've not been able to do in the past. It may be a paltry start, but it's something for someone who basically didn't have a clue for a long time. If you know of any literature I can read or sites I can go to for self-help until I'm able to get one-on-one help, please pass on the info. I've looked in to on-line therapists but I need the one-on-one. That's the reason this site gets to me now and then: no one-on-one contact, and I desperately need the human interaction.

Thank you very, very much for the insight. It's a small start in the right direction.