I will bolt out of bed with my hart pounding and my mind racing. The feeling of fear is relentless. I can't get away from it because the fear is from with in me and it feels like it will never end. I know I am not dreaming. I know I am terrified. I just don't know why. I know what it is like to be afraid of an attacking dog. But that has an expected end. This fear has no visible end, it is pure fear. But I believe behind this fear is what I am trying to know. I just need a way of dealing with this fear that will allow me to push through it. I can't ground myself because when I do I am pulled back or someone pulls away. I don't think the answer is grounding. I think I am supposed to push through the fear but I am overcome by it and run away. I am trying to figure out how to stay there face the feelings of fear and push my mind past it. Into what it is I need to know. I want to know so I can let it go.