Hello everyone. For the past few weeks I have been reading the posts on here and admired everyone for the support they give each other. I am in need of support.

What I am about to tell you is nothing I am proud of. I accept full responsibility for it. I get depressed just thinking of this. Please don't judge me by my actions. I hate saying this, but here it goes.

I was the abuser in domestic violence. I struck my wife. This happened on a few occasions at the beginning of the year. I did not seriously injure her body (bruises), but what I did to her mentally is unforgivable.

We have been married for 8 years and have known each other for about 13 yrs. A few months ago, my wife called the police during an episode and I was arrested. There is a restraining order against me and my child visitation must be supervised. I applaud my wife for having the courage to get the help she needed. Divorce has been mentioned and I am awaiting to be served with the papers.

Through many individual and group counseling sessions I have learned my behavior was past down to me in a cycle of violence. I had never thought of my childhood as being abusive. But I always knew I was being hit for no apparent reasons.

During the last year or so, I have been battling depression. I feel my recent actions were a result of that depression, among other things.

Do I sound like someone who deserves sympathy? No, of course not. I have regrets every waking moment. What I did was horrible and I am so sorry for it. I never wanted my life to go this way. I wanted to be happily married for the rest of my life. I avoided dealing with other issues in my life and that resulted in me not handling the recent pressure I felt correctly.

I am very lonely right now. Most of my life and friends were tied around my wife. I am now taking an antidepressant (zoloft) and getting therapy. That in itself is a big step for me. I never wanted to admit I needed that kind of help.

I don't know what everyone here will think of me. Just remember I am not proud of my actions and I want to end the cycle of violence with me.

Anyone care to talk?