Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool
skeksi, my T assured me that there was a point to having the conversations about anger even if I do not remember them. He said therapy is all about establishing new neural pathways and we do that by talking about the emotions and the needs, blah blah blah.
|
Yeah, I remember the days when I couldn't talk about the abuse without flipping out, and now it's not great, but I can do it. Establishing this particular neural pathway feels kind of like building a bridge across the ocean! I appreciate your encouragement very much,
MKAC.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose Panachée
I really appreciate you starting this thread and for the other members input. I have a very difficult time with anger. I can write about it, vent here but irl I hold it in and ultimately turn it on myself.
I do not know how to express all the anger built up inside of me in a constructive way.
|
I have always turned it on myself as well, quite literally. I stopped hurting myself years ago but didn't give the feelings an alternate path so they are all dammed up, and a little thumbhole feels like it's going to start a deluge.
My T originally suggested some of the more physical releases but admitted they were a bad fit for me. He has encouraged art, and I've done it to help me through lots of fear and shame, but I guess the anger I've been afraid to put on paper that way. Guess it's time to get the paints out...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
Often we look at our abusers as purely evil and purposely harming others. By tearing down their exterior abusive ways, we can see the frail person that is really there. When we do that, we can see how "we are actually better than" the abuser in ways we do not see. The goal is to finally be able to react to the abuser knowing that "they are actually the victim in many cases" and that "we can choose to no longer be "their victim". In our subconscious, instead of seeing a large looming power over us, we can instead see a small minded ignorant person that we are "larger than" instead.
|
Yeah, I think this has a lot of merit. I don't know exactly what made my abuser so damaged he had to hurt me--T and I have some theories, but ultimately it doesn't matter. The point is he felt out of control and helpless and tried to get out of it by dominating me. Now, I feel out of control and helpless--and I don't hurt anyone (except myself). Taking care of myself and others in the face of those feelings--that proves I'm not like him.