It sounds like you're having a tough time, I hope things get better.

As for the puppy who might be deaf: wait until it's asleep: clap your hands, drop a full bottle of pills, shake a bottle of pills (ok so I had pills around when I was figuring out if mine was deaf), ring the doorbell, knock on a door, blow a whistle. If the puppy doesn't wake up or startle to any of it, it's probably deaf. You do want to make sure that whatever you're doing doesn't disrupt much else. Mine is deaf and occasionally will react to someone clapping loudly. I went and checked out a children's sign language book from the library and used that to teach her ASL which wasn't nearly as hard to teach her as I thought. Good luck!