You have my sympathies, friend. I came from a background similar to yours in which mental illness was never even hinted at, let alone discussed (even though our family is lousy with alcoholism, depression, and at least one undiagnosed case of bipolar). So as you can imagine, asking for help was unthinkable.....we all just pretended nothing was wrong and went on about our lives.

Fast-forward several decades.....my parents are now long gone, and I'm diagnosed with BP. Getting help was the single smartest thing I've ever done in my life, even though I was madder than a wet cat when my primary care doctor referred me for a psych eval---and terrified that other people would find out and think badly of me. A year later, I'm still struggling with mood episodes and meds, but I'm no longer afraid of being "outed" as being bipolar, and I'm outspoken about fair treatment for people who didn't ask for this and are not at fault for having a mental disorder.

Yeah, sure, some people don't like me, and I know a few who think I'm "crazy" and unreliable, as I'm sure my parents would if they were still alive. The take-home lesson here is, it doesn't matter what other people think---if YOU don't take care of yourself and look out for your own mental health, who will?

You don't have to 'explain' yourself to anyone. Yes, it's good if you can garner support from your family and friends, and one of the best ways to do so is to educate them about bipolar disorder. There are handouts and books that you can give them which describe what you are going through---the physical and the mental, the chemical and the emotional. One of the books I heartily recommend is Bipolar Disorder for Dummies, which literally goes back to the ABC's of the illness and explains it in layman's terms.

Also, you can ask your psychiatrist to meet with you and your family, as sort of a go-between who can discuss what's going on with you. I was very fortunate when I was diagnosed; my husband, grown children, and sister were all curious about my condition and actually were relieved to know, finally, why I behaved the way I did. Bipolar explained almost everything they had observed in living with me all those years....properly informed, they were supportive and forgiving.

I suspect it will be the same for you at some point in the near future. Acceptance may take your family some time, but if they love you as they should, they will realize that your mental health is much more important than the "perfect" image they feel they need to present to the world. And as for losing friends over this.......well, they weren't really friends, now were they?

Wishing you the very best. Please keep us posted on how you're doing.