YES I absolutely do. Oh so much. Perfectionism is ruining my life, I just can't forgive myself for stuff I do or say, esp when hypo or depressed. I really want to learn how not to do this. I'm in therapy for that, because I am so terrified of doing things wrong, and because I always think I make mistakes (inc in therapy). My pride/perfectionism even gets in the way in T so when she says stuff like "you didnt do anything wrong" I instantly take offence. It's like I can be as hard on myself as I want but no one else can. I am only allowed to beat myself up

I had an experience on the weekend when I could have almost done it again but I didn't. I seem to have better control at the moment plus focusing on the fact that this is a problem at the moment is making me more aware of it. Also I'm drinking less I'm starting to see how I can actually be quite predatory when I want to be. I'm less likely to be promiscuous if I don't feel like I'm the one in control. Hence it's somehow exciting to go for people who are either unavailable or inappropriate (or that I don't even like!!) because then I don't have to fear rejection etc. IDK, it's confusing. And something I will still have to work at.

Oh and in answer to hamster on the last page - yup I do the overspending thing, not that often, but it definitely has put me into financial straits before. I spend big on impulse and decide that it's absolutely the right decision. I've never gambled etc, it's more spending on holidays and clothes etc etc but always when I am absolutely broke. Cut up my credit card because of it and am now not in debt, but have massive trouble saving ...