I am really sorry for your loss. I'm new here, so I don't know how much I can help, but I am willing to try. Unfortunately, your questions don't have definite answers but if he was unconscious from an overdose, I would assume that he did not suffer. I hope you find solace in that. As for your other questions, there's really nothing you could do. Try not to think of that and instead think of what a blessing he was in your life. We are all on borrowed time. Try to focus on the fact that he was in your life rather than the amount of time you had him for. Celebrate his existence. Remember, he lived. Don't worry about being a good hostess. If it helps you cope, then keep yourself busy, but now, your only responsibility is to yourself and your husband and keeping your son's memory alive. Share the blessing that was your son with those that didn't have the privilege of meeting him. Cry if you need to. Grieve. Laugh. You have every right to feel the way you do and do what you do to be ok. Just remember, you were blessed.