Inky, glad you are able to open up to your T about the OD'ing. Vicodin isn't a good choice. It really messes with the kidneys.....I know...I OD'ed on it several times & ended up in the hospital...medical part first to stabalize me. It is the tylenol in the vicodin that does the damage. It can mess up kindeys for life & that would be a horrible SI which I am sure you know about since you have worked with meds in a pharmacy

I am glad that your T would consider puting you into the hospital. It is a great feeling to know that he cares. I hope you can start feeling better yourself so you don't want to OD. I am glad that you are able to open up to your T & talk to him about your feelings. It is important & hopefully he will be able to work with you by helping you deal in a better way with your problems than OD'ing.

I know that not eating well is something else we have in common. I found that even though I have been hospitalized medically for anemia & malnutrition as many times as for OD's, it is much better than how I would end up feeling after OD'ing.

Take care of yourself & be good to yourself. We don't want you to be hurting....it's sad to realize that you are hurting that bad that you feel the need to hurt yourself. I can definitely understand with all you have been going through that you could feel the way you do. Sometimes it seems like life is just all to much to deal with.

Maybe your T could have you go into the hospital just for a break (timeout) from your life right now. Sometimes it feels good to be in the hospital where they take care of you. Meals are brought to you 3 times a day. They have group sessions throughout the day when you can talk through what is going on. Sometimes having a safe place to be for at least a while is a very good thing. Sometimes it can even relieve some stress at least for awhile. It might even be a good help for you.

I know it is hard to discuss things like that with a T, but it might be something for you to think about & maybe discuss with your T....I am sure he wants to do what is best for you. I know when I feel overwhelmed, my pdoc would & still does suggest going into the hospital to take a break from the situation I am in. He suggested my going into the hospital last year when I was dealing with the year anniversary of my Mothers death & the flashbacks & nightmares about the trauma were haunting me constantly. Sometimes being in the hospital can break the place I feel trapped in & is actually a good thing.

Take care of yourself above all else (((((((hugz)))))))),
Debbie