As with anything, the first step is realizing you have a problem. At the time, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I felt it wasn't "that bad". I felt that the issues I was dealing with was the bigger problem. In retrospect it was the exact opposite.

I am very compulsive in nature. So I am seeking many forms of help. But before I tell you what kind, I have to give you some more background info. My father had severe mental health issues. He was in and out of hospitals and institutions for most of my childhood. I had a fear if I looked for help in any kind of therapy situations, I would end up like him. Kind of like when people say smoking pot only leads to doing harder drugs. That fear held me back for so long. I always thought I was smart enough to overcome it on my own.

With that said, I am involved in group counseling for domestic violence (26 week course). They not only talk about anger, but they talk about relationships, perceptions and what domestic violence does to the family. I have been going for about a month. I am also starting an anger managment class this week. This one is 12 weeks and deals with anger only. I am also seeing a licensed social worker on an individual basis. Then there is my family doctor who has put me on zoloft for my depression. Like I said, I am very compulsive.

With divorce likely, now I have to start reaching out for new friends. My social life was based all around my wife and her friends. I get very lonely now. I can only wish my wife the best, and be thankful she is kind enough to let me see our son. He is still a baby.

Did that help you?