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esthersvirtue said:
my father has always been very successful. Now, since retiring and moving back to his home town he has gotten appoint on the board of local businesses, and now. he has unofficially won the election as mayor. I feel so torn. Both proud and mad. I feel mostly bitter without the anger. Why does his life go so well. I thought people who abused others were supposed to feel some overwhelming torment inside. I thoutht they all lived dirty, unsuccessful lives. Yet it seems my life is way more of a struggle than his. Sorry to whine. Im not sure where im going with this.

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I relate to what you wrote above. (My father remains unaccountable for his crimes against me.) I cannot understand it either.