Really just need to vent tonight. I have had a few really bad days following some really good days so feeling so conflicted about everything. Currently have very little control over life - waiting to hear back from employers. Unsure whether I will have to move for work. Unsure of what that will do for my relationships. I have recently had family members come back into my life and don't want to move but at the same time need to eat. Having flashbacks and urges to SI but trying to hold off. Being here often helps - posting for myself and for others. Reminds me I'm not alone.

Trying to stick to my routines and continue with life but nights are always the hardest.

Don't even know that this would make sense to anyone but me, but it does help to get it out.

Anyone out there tonight?