DH, breathe, one second at a time. Really try to be mindful right now. And there is no silly reasons.. your reasons are yours whatever they might be, as long as you understand them I think that is the whole point.

Stay in the second, your are strong, you can get through this, and you might even be able to intercept it and change it's course.

Love you sister. We always say hang in there, and sometimes it seems like when is it safe to let go? I think that is where your awareness comes in Dark.. but try to let this pass, and be aware of what you hold on to.