((((Clarity))))

I just wanted to validate how you feel and what you are experiencing. You are not alone. I too understand and have been going through it lately. The fear is gripping and real terror, one that has no words and often has only flashes and bits of pieces that somehow is known someplace deep but yet leaves one terrified of what all lies within that place.

Feeling small, the pain that is there, and the pull of terror that is there keeps one unable to grasp today, and it does feel like there is no end. Even though it is not happening right then it feels as though it is, and at that moment it seems nothing is safe, and it is often not only one's self feeling that fear, but many within as it feels it is filtering through unknown to anyone outside of one's self, but you can feel that fear as if it is growing closer to yourself with each breathe taken; sometimes becoming one with that breathe another breathed for you. It is as if coming out from the frames that I hid between and often becoming to myself for the first time ever to know what it was I went away from.

For myself, I know that the way through it is to talk about it, to not hold it inside, but to find a way to get it out. Sometimes writing it out helps, and yes, I do believe that grounding one's self in the present is important, not easy at the moment, but important. For us having things that have come from the present that was not there in the past (our angel stone, doll, etc), a safe person now in a picture or something written by them to hold onto, our grounding box, our safe corner, allowing the little's to color or draw....slowly helps to come out of that place.

It will come when you are ready to face it and accept it, and sometimes it does not come all at once. Sometimes fighting it for myself makes it worse, but I think often that comes from what we always did. That feeling of running and getting out is real, I do validate that for you. But truth is where ever we run it is still going to be there until we face it. Remember to breathe. It is not easy, but we made it through the time when it really happened, we can make it through it now. I really validate how you feel and I do understand at least in what it is for myself. Just know that you are not alone.

I really hope that this does not sound as though I do not get it or that it is easy. It is anything but easy. My mind is struggling to get out words, and I feel inadequate in what I am trying to say. Just know that you are being heard, validated, and you are cared about. Please keep posting and reaching out. Hugs if okay.

dps