It sounds like you have had some medical issues with hormones, etc. that are still getting straightened out and which could be/have been affecting your thinking and feeling?
I would go visit a conventional short-term therapy therapist for a few sessions to just look at where you are now, where you want to go, etc. and make sure your physical functioning is as good as it can be before working on heavy-duty emotional/psychological things in specific ways.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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