So I went today......... I'm such an idiot! I have never ever let my walls come down so quickly! I couldn't stop, and I said way too much! I feel so stupid... he must think I'm a total whacko! I have been holding it in for so long that when I finally had the opportunity to say something I spilled my guts to a total stranger! I really liked the guy... we connected so quickly, he is studied the exact same as I am doing now (psych and educational post grad) which gave us something to talk about in the beginning, and then he asked that dreaded questions... "Why are you here" Do they know how much we fear that question? I told him that it is a loooong story and has to do with abuse... so he asked what kind of abuse... so I said one type had to do with occultic rituals and the other was rape by two officers... and from there on I couldn't stop talking... I have never verbalized these things before. With my previous therapist I wrote it down because I couldn't say it. I just feel so awful now... I don't want to go back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!