^^^ That's so cool gary - I did that therapy with my son for the year he was in Utah. That was their mainframe. I loved our therapist there. He also taught us about in figuring out your feelings, to think of the primary emotions. Like it was usually anger for us. And that boils down to 1 of 4 primary emotions, or some combo: Fear, Pain, Confusion, Sense of Injustice. (I know there are many different descriptors of emotions, but this one really made sense to me). Looking at it like that really helps the rationalization process, and could help you figure out what is real and what is not.

From everything you've shared about your husband, I think you can trust him. imho, even if this friend of his had some bad ideas about you or something, your husband would defend you. Maybe this has been going on awhile with this particular friend of his, but this is also coinciding with major conflict and betrayal from your dad. Something to consider?

Also, can you think of anything you could ask of your husband to help you through this? Is there anything he could do to reassure you that his friend means no harm, or that he will protect you and defend you?