Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
Chrysalis,
Hun, you can't let yourself keep feeling as though you are going to let others down.
You have to learn to allow yourself to be happy and just do the best you can. You have time to pull something together for that Science experiment. I think you may be "adding much of the pressure you have on yourself" yourself. You have to slow down and understand that none of us can make "everyone happy" that is just so impossible.
You have to realize that all you can do is the best you can, and if someone is unhappy, well, that is "their problem" not yours. Learn that now and you will save yourself so much grief. I have been there myself and I just finally realized that it is not my responsiblity to make "everyone happy".
I don't understand why your art teacher is giving you a "hard time" either. I am wondering if you are not understanding "constructive criticism", which basically means someone can see your talent and tries to help you "expand on it". It can take time to understand that, especially with art because it is such a personal form of expression.
I think you are "very sensitive" and you just need some time to toughin up a little.
Very "creative people" can be "very sensitive", in fact many of the greats were very sensitive people. But I can tell you, you definitely have "talent", if I was an art teacher I would be very "excited" about your work.
Just make sure you keep trying to take the pressure off of yourself. You have lots of growing to do, and a talent that deserves to grow and flourish. So ease up on yourself, practice good "self care" which means to make sure you are not hard on yourself, but "caring" instead.
((((Hugs)))
Open Eyes
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Open Eyes,
I know I can't make "everyone happy," but I don't know how to live any other way. Everyone always told me to challenge myself as much as I can. Then, when I accomplished it, they would be proud of me. It was and still is an amazing feeling to feel like I have a purpose, that there is some merit to my existence. However, I feel exhausted now. And I feel like I am failing everything, and my world is disintegrating in front of my eyes.
As with my art teacher, I just feel that he either criticizes my work or gives no feedback at all. Whenever I show him my work, he will just say "looks good" while staring at his computer screen. I want to improve, and I can handle criticism when I know it will help me mature as an artist. However, my teacher just seems apathetic. I still have such a long journey to becoming a true artist, and there is no map. Just like life.
By the way, you must be very intuitive to point out that I am "very sensitive." All my closest friends and family members have always told me that a major weakness of mine was my sensitivity. Even the slightest words and actions could create lacerations in my soul. I cannot stand it. I don't want to be this weak.
And, this is a bit off topic, but I don't think I know how to build relationships anymore. Because, I feel that people only value me if I succeed. The moment I fail, they have the right to dispose me, like garbage. How can I really trust anyone, knowing that it is inevitable that they will abandon me? So I always keep an emotional distance between myself and others. Plus, I really like a person now, however, I can't be honest. Instead of being open with him, I just shun him. I don't know the words to say, and I always feel that I need to lose weight, be more attractive, be more intelligent, and accomplish more to even have the right to be around him. Even though, internally, I know that he did not ask me for any of this, and that he wants me to stop being so hard on myself (But he's nice to everyone so I am just another annoyance he has to tolerate).