Sorry this is long, but it is something really important to me! Thank you in advance for your time.

Hi all, I am a 17 year old female. I have been in therapy for a year and a half. My depression is not as bad as some peoples', but I do feel down a lot. I am not the person I used to be. I am not ambitious anymore. I am often unable to concentrate because of my constant thoughts/worries. I am always feeling tired and unmotivated. One of the worst feelings is feeling like you are not living up to your full potential, and that is what I have been struggling a lot with. I've been trying to turn things around, but I can't get bad thoughts out of my head. I want to be the highly motivated, great person I was before.

My therapist recommended medication to help with my worries/sadness & to get me on the road to being productive again. I have 2 major concerns about this.

My first concern is the ethics of medication. I feel like being a heavy thinker is just who I am. My thoughts deeply sadden me. But the fact of the matter is my thoughts are real. I don't want to have this false sense of optimism by going on medication. I also don't want the medication to make things seem better, when they really aren't.

My second concern is that I drink socially on the weekend with my friends. I've had a few other friends who've gone on depression medication, and after a night of drinking they had felt very depressed and anxious the next day. I don't want to worsen my symptoms. I've also read that depression medication cannot be effective if used with alcohol. However, a psychiatrist I saw said that people get around drinking and being on an antidepressant all the time. Going on medication & stopping drinking is not really a good option for me because I will be going to college next year & I want to party.

Bottom line: I would love to feel better and BE better, and I feel that going on an antidepressant could affect my brain chemistry in a positive way. But if I plan to continue drinking socially, and am not completely sure if I'm in line with the idea of medication itself, is it worth it?