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Hi, i recently came across a personality disorder test, and these were my results:
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: High
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Online tests are, to put it mildly, total %#@&#!. Disregard them.
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now, some of these might apply to me a little bit, but the symptoms really line up for antisocial personality disorder. plus im not
too woried about the others. it really really bothers me to think that i have this. i cant help but think "why me?"
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If you were a socio, it wouldnt bother you in the least. Why should it? Its just information. Its useful to know what you 'have', but hardly soemthing to waste time bemoaning your fate over.
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symtoms that i have:
*less empathy for other people than i should, if much at all.
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Socios have NO empathy for others, not less.
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*during my early childhood my parents said i was a serious problem child (age 2- 4) but sort of grew out of it. they aways thought something must have "happened" to me, which is why i was so difficullt.
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Who isnt diffuclt at that age? Were you the first child?
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*family members have told me im self centered.
* i started stealing things when i was like in 4th grade. however i dont steal anymore because i just want to be a good person.
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Socios dont steal for one reason only: they dont want to go to gaol. Wanting to be a good person is just pathetic for someone who thinks he may be socio.
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* in preschool there was a pet hamster that the kids would take home, when it was my turn to take it home, i killed it. i have no memory of this but iguess this is what happened.
*i used to be mean to my cat, untill i was about 14 or 15 actually. i only remember one instance where i actually hit the cat(very lightly but it still scared the cat) and generally i was very insensitive twords it. i know, it really sickens me to think about. i dont know why i would do this crap. anyway i still have the same cat but im nice to it now. but if i WAS to be mean to it now, im not sure if i would feel sorry for it or not, honestly i dont know. i remember the last time i mistreated the cat i burst into tears and in my head i said something like "shes just a poor little cat she did nothing to you why would you do that you %#@�!!!!" and hated my own guts for it. been nice to my cat since.
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Kids are cruel to animals. When I was a kid, I tied my pet dog to a tree and pelted it with rocks till it was dead. Then I went home and eat my dinner. The fact that being 'mean' to a cat made you /cry virtually prooves youre not a socio.
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* i get poor grades in school and work wayyyy under my potential. i could an A student if i wanted to, but for some reason i aways flake out and dont do my homework and am generally irresponsible.
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That just shows youre lazy. While socios do tend to underperform, its because they cant see any point in schooling, and see it a boring waste of time. You sound more like you have a fear of success.
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i recently decided im never going to steal, lie, or cheat again. but say if i WAS to do these things, i would probably not feel bad about it.
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Making such a decision is not at all compatable with being a socio.
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contridictions of the symptoms:
*i remember a year ago, i was watching the animal planet channel, and they were showing a video of a dog being put to sleep and all the kids in the dogs family crying, and i couldn;t help but cry .there have been other times like where i feel super sensitive, also. i dont know why i remember this example, but i do.
* the other day i was thinking about my mothers life. and how hard it must be (shes doing fine, but she works very hard all day, comes home, cooks dinner, and then does it all over again the next day. when trying to imangine what it would be like to be her, like litterally imanging that her life was mine, i started to cry. i think i might have been feeling empathy.
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Im not an expert on empathy, but that sounds like a textbook example of it to me.
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ive noticed some situations where i had to fake empathy. the most recent example that my older sister (who i adore, by the way) is going to have to have a foot operation, where basically all the bones in her foot will be broken and she wont be able to walk for like 2 months. when telling me she started to cry. i said something like "awww poor (name ommited), im so sorry...) in that kind of voice. but i didnt really feel anything inside. just blank. anytime im in any sort of trouble or am unhappy she shows this deep deep empathy for me, like she feels my pain herself.l expression (usually when im in a situation where i feel awkward and shy, and i also tend to speak in a more monotone voice, too.)
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Awkward and shy are totally alien to a socio. As is giving a %#@&#! about your sister.
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i also like smoking pot a little more than i should.
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Thats nice? And its relevant because...?
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anyway im really scared about this. i just want to be a normal guy, and live a happy life. what do you suggest i do? should i tell my parents that i think i might have this? do i even have this, or just a personality that is a little closer to the antisocial personality, not the full blown antisocial personality disorder?? had i not found this quiz i would have had no idea that any of these symptoms go together. i feel better allready, just getting all this crap off my chest.
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Feeling scared, and wanting to be normal, are totally impossible states of mind for a socio. We cant feel fear, and dont want to be normal. We should we? We're better than norms, we have all thier strengths and none of thier weaknesses.
To me, you sound almost textbook Borderline. I suggest you read up on BPD and keep taking the anti-depressants, cos youll need them when you see whats in store for you.