I can't believe I'm actually about to post this. I've never straight up told someone I have PPD. I haven't been diagnosed, but I literally fit every symptom to a T. A family member told me how they had schizophrenia, and I started researching it. I came across PPD, read the symptoms, then read a whole lot more. While I did go to a therapist in high school for general anxiety/stress, I don't think I'd go to one for PPD now. I'm not brave enough. I feel like there would be some record of it, or it would come up in a background check for a job...I don't know. I guess I wanted to post this so that other people know someone out there is going through the same thing. On the outside, I have a normal, successful life. Few people know about my family member's schizophrenia, and even then they don't know the full extent. I find it really hard to be around this person, as some of their symptoms remind me of my own. I really only realized I have PPD earlier this year. Looking back on my friendship history, so many things made sense. That's why I can't forgive certain friends for things they've said about me. That's why I am so suspicious of others. That's why I am VERY guarded about my true feelings. That's why. College was the worst in terms of my PPD. I would think people were sick of me, or didn't want to be around me, or had said mean things about me, so I would get uncomfortable. To ease my anxiety, I drank. While that's maybe "normal" for a college student, it was a BAD idea for me. Combining alcohol with PPD was so toxic for me, causing me to run away from friends, leave bars and not tell people where I was going, get in ridiculous fights, etc. Since learning about my PPD, I dramatically reduced my alcohol intake to maybe once a week, definitely NOT getting drunk. Whenever I start to think people are talking about me/conspiring against me, I remind myself of PPD and try to review the facts. I'm usually a pretty logical person. I find this helps. Also, journaling has really been a great release. Also, telling the few friends I did about my schizophrenic family member was like lifting such a weight. Seeing how reaffirming and supportive they are was great. I still am very private, but it's an ongoing thing. I just moved to a new city, and it's hard. Getting out of my comfort zone, meeting new people. I'm doing good so far, but I'm really glad I found this forum. I hope this helps someone, just to know it's okay. I try to learn more about this illness, but given that it's all about paranoia, there's just not much out there. I'm hopeful I can control this. Thanks for reading.