This week has been awful... and I know this could be placed in a lot of other sections, but I feel like posting here.

A few days ago I found out someone I know almost commited suicide, the next day my friend's dad beat her up again, and then the next day one of my classmates, whom I've grown up with my entire life, died.

This is the first major time I've had to go through a grieving process without cutting. I haven't cut for 1 yr 1 mth and I never want to go back to that life. But I hate crying and keep craving. The other day I found myelf doodling in class (which is normal), but I was doodling words that appeared to be dripping blood. Also my hand/wrist kept going numb, or itched, or ached.

I know I have to stay strong and eventually things will be okay again, but it's just really hard to stay on track when suddenly everyone's world is falling apart around you and there is nothing you can do about it.

I don't know why I'm even posting all this.