Your perceptions sound just fine. I think your BF's need adjustment. If these kids don't learn self control and discipline at this age just when are they supposed to learn? When they hit school and their obnoxious behavior is so intolerable that no one can stand them and they are not welcome anywhere? Sorry if I sound harsh but this is one of my pet peeves. Children whose parents are so insecure that they want to be "Friends". The poor kids don't know how to get good attention so they are acting out all over. No one sets boundaries or limits and so they push and test constantly. Hitting your face, spitting and wrecking furniture? This is abuse! What happens when these children get bigger and are still hitting and spitting? If they haven't been shown respect how do they learn it.? I'd make it very clear if they can't behave in and respect your home they are not welcome. Why is your BF not stepping in when they hit you? Is there someone who can support and back you up the next time this happens? I hate to insult the animal world but what are they raising?
. If baby bear gets out of line Mama will give him a swat to get him back in line. Not beat in anger but firm guidance about what is unacceptable behavior and when its time to leave the nest old mama bird pushes them out into the world.She isn't still running around getting them worms they have to find their own. When kids have these boundaries they feel safer and get about the business of learning and growing in this world.It sounds too awful to live with even if it is only every other week. I'd be so stressed out.I worked with kids and they can be such a joy.I loved it as they were so much fun.How sad that these ones are not getting the right home environment. O.K. I'm off my soap box now. Good Luck