I was sexually abused from the time I could remember until I was 12 years old. I am 36 yrs old now and I am having to deal with NOT dealing with it all these years NOW. It was my father and really it feels like abuse all over again. I hate what he did because he has NEVER said I am sorry. This has been kept inside for 36 years and now it wants to surface. I have panic and anxiety attacks now, thanks dad. I don't know what is in my dad's heart but I do know what is in mine. But it is hard to hear that I never loved him like he wanted me to.