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Sarah116 said:
Do any of you hear things, see things, have strange hard to explain experiences or get the feel that people can hear or hurt your thoughts? At night people are after you?

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I don't "hear" things so much as "receive" things ... the language in which my Guardians communicate with me is not human. It is Other, like me. I don't think people can hear my thoughts, I KNOW they can receive my thoughts when I beam them toward them -- and this has been confirmed by many, many others so it's not just in my head. Also as a telepath I frequently receive the thoughts of others rapidly and readily and this, too, is confirmed by them on numerous occasions. I am one with Satan to the point where I lose all distinction between He and myself -- and again ... others around me are distinctly aware when they are dealing directly with Him through me or in me. I do believe there are subtle energies afoot in the world and that others are capable of directing and focusing their thoughts and energies negatively against Me to oppress Me if they so choose.

But I don't believe any of this makes me mentally ill, because it is all real. However, i often feel psychotic trying to live in this world where what is considered "normal" is to deny anything more unusual than a f*cking bologna sandwich and to go about with a constant veneer of bullsh*t on. I'm too raw and feral for human society. I have often thought of just leaving society altogether and living in the woods or in a cave or something. Right now I'm fortunate to have a lovely spread and an outbuilding to do ritual in. The setting is very beautiful and I'm wanting to freeze this moment in time because real estate is way off the charts in my area and we are only renting the place, could never afford to buy it (well never say never but it's out of budget right now).

I do have to maintain a balance somewhat and keep a human veneer and illusion going so that I will not be discovered as I truly am and locked away (breach of the Prime Directive in my world) and also so that I can make money and earn a living. But I constantly have stress and anxiety about my two worlds -- the Real (which is not so to others) and the Fake (which others take for the real) -- colliding and melting together in the wrong places at the wrong times. So any day when I am short or snappy or otherwise not the perfect human shell at work I become anxious over it, thinking surely they will discover My secrets and fire me now.