I feel horrible tbh. I am trying to finish getting my demand together for my attorney for my case and every time I go near it I get very ill.

First of all my brain doesn't want to deal with going any where near all this loss. It has been too many years of being stuck in this "tramatic experience" and my brain just doesn't want to go there anymore. It is a lot of work to push myself because my brain just shuts down.

Then, I know that when I do send it to my attorney then I will have to meet with him and go over it, and my attorney was never a good match for me at all and he triggers the hell out of me. And I am "stuck" with him and that triggers me too.

I just get so sick to my stomach, and I also get angry with myself because I struggle like this.

Open Eyes