I wish I could click Hug a million times for you...

I lost a family member some years back. I was not in the same state where the tragedy occurred but it was sudden, unexpected, drug-related... many events from that time are still vivid in my mind.

I found that the recovery paths of each "survivor" were not in sync.
...One night a couple of days after it happened, some close friends came over for supper. Everyone else seemed ready to have a few smiles and laughs, while I was NOT ready... at ALL... and I felt bitter that others were. (To this day I associate the specific meal we ate that night with those bad feelings.)
...A few weeks later, I was feeling somewhat chipper, but another family member probably wasn't, and he mistook something I said as gold digging and gave me a big lecture that was totally undeserved and I was a little angry about that.

It's OK not to know yet what you should do, what your mission should be.

It's OK to take care of yourself. It will be day by day, sometimes hour by hour or minute by minute. But you will make it through. It's hard, I know. Call upon us here whenever you need to. We will be here for you.

HUGS * 1 million