Clinical depression by definition means feeling depressed when there is no clear reason. Money is nice, and there is a lot to be said for not having to worry about how to pay your bills, but it doesn't make your life perfect. Depression is an equal opportunity employer.

You may have answered some of your own questions to a degree in your post, but only you know which ones and to what degree. Everyone needs someone to talk to when things aren't going well, and when they are too. Depression can come in waves, and when it hits, its on your mind all the time. Is it possible that you are worried that other people will think that you are just trying to get attention?

People who don't suffer with depression tend to shy away from being around those of us who do, but part of that is their own discomfort. They don't know what to say, have no answers and don't feel like talking about it. I think constantly thinking about how bad you feel is part of the depression package. It makes you feel like you aren't as strong as other people, are responsible for things that you aren't responsible for, and leaves you searching for a reason why you feel the way you do.

There are no insignificant cuts when people are injuring themselves. Some people may think that and there are Dr.s who seem to feel that way, but it all comes from the same place. Pain inside. There is a similar feeling for some rape victims. If they haven't been severely beaten, tortured or what ever else on top of being raped, that somehow makes their rape less significant than others. That just isn't true, but some feel that way, just as you feel that shallow cuts are not significant. I know its a strange comparrison, but it came to mind when I read your post.

It sounds like you are stuck at an impass right now and having trouble getting past it. You are doing a lot of soul searching, and if talking about your thoughts is something you need to do, then go ahead. I don't think anyone here is going to tell you to stop obsessing. Maybe there is something you are afraid to face because it is too painful or you just aren't ready, so you get stuck. When you are ready to move ahead, you will. Hopefully your therapist will gently guide you through this. Use the forum as a sounding board. Its hard. You deserve to be happy as much as anyone else does. Remember that.

Sam2