Thank you all for your kind words i really appreciate them.

i am definitely up for answering any questions you want to ask about my condition, so fire away .... if i type something which does not make sense point it out and i will ammend it as part of my condition means i don't always hit the right keys when correcting my speach to text software mistakes!

to start you off

what is it called? Dissociative motor disorder

where is it classified the World health authority number F44.4

What causes it? it was explained to me as being 'emotions from my past that i was unable or not allowed to process in the right way now surfacing in a physical way'

my background I was emotionally and sexually abused for over 10 years as a child/teen, mum decided to let the man stay in the family home because she did not want to grow old alone even though she knew what he was doing to me (she blocked it out and denied it). I moved 200 miles away at 19 to start a life without family ties but every week mother would still phone to tell me her life including what my abuser was up to! a few years later i met my partner, and gained the confidence to cut all ties with the family. my partner died of fibrosing alveoilitis and heart disease after a 10 year struggle with only me as his carer, at the same time i was working as a childrens nanny and was running and working in my own 36 place pre-school nursery and caring for an elderly friend, so was physically and emotionally exhausted.

how it started for years i blamed arthritis for my hurting legs as i had been dxd with it in my knee years earlier and it runs through the family. but gradually i began getting very tired, put it down to all the work i was doing and the stress of caring for a dying man- the love of my life.my doc said 'what do you expect' I picked up a bit after his death, but was a bit depressed, not to the point of being unable to function, but to the point i cried very easily and for hours at night, my patience was being tested by the childern at nursery..not me at all as i was the most patient person ever! gradually my hands started hurting and eventually the children could manipulate the toys easier than me! my doc just laughted and shrugged it off. then my asthma quadrupled in severity, my sphincter control got worse, and my legs were still getting worse to the point i could not stand still for the pain. i began struggling to function at all after lunch, needing to stay seated and eventually needing to lie down/sleep for 1.5 hours after a light lunch. i closed nursery and took a break from work hoping to rest up and get better, but things deteriorated even more to the point i was housebound, struggling to walk at all, my brain and legs/arms/hands began to not talk to each other, so i would go to pick something up and my hand would not move or i'd stand but one leg or both would not straighten, doc refused to come out to see me. 18 months later i took an overdose of rat poison as i could see no way out of this. i was relying on one friend to come every 6-8 weeks to go shopping for me, she came picked up the list, went came back put the shopping in the hallway and went. that was the sum total of my human contact for the whole 18 months! i was taken to a mental health unit and that is where they dxd me. funny thing is i felt far better having taken the poison than i had in months even before they took me in!

how is it diagnosed there is no real test or examination that proves it, I was diagnosed through observation in hospital, i since had MRI and CT scans to rule out other physical dx's. although it presents the problems associated with MS/Stroke etc, the scans don't they come back ok!

what is the usual course of it usually it comes suddenly and goes within a few months if treated correctly, though some cases can last over a year, in these instances it never fully goes and some experience the full effect for life.

i will continue this later as i am on envelope stuffing duty today!